The Funeral Exercise
While in transit on board a Chicago subway train, I read the second chapter of "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen Covey. It's titled, "Begin with the End in Mind." Covey presents a situation that he believes is useful in examining your true values: being at your own funeral, thinking about what you would like your friends, family, and associates to say about you. The various examples provided include you being a loving spouse, great parent, good friend, working associate, and that kind of thing.
That exercise didn't really resonate with me. I find it odd to think about values through secondary judgments. Covey places great emphasis on interpersonal relations, and thus understandably gauges values according to the people in our lives. However, I would prefer a more self-reflective exercise. How about closing your eyes, and trying to clear your mind. Then think about what you want and feel right now. And then what your goals are for different points in the future. I find that this is a simpler, more personal, and more direct exercise for determining our values. Easy enough, right?
That exercise didn't really resonate with me. I find it odd to think about values through secondary judgments. Covey places great emphasis on interpersonal relations, and thus understandably gauges values according to the people in our lives. However, I would prefer a more self-reflective exercise. How about closing your eyes, and trying to clear your mind. Then think about what you want and feel right now. And then what your goals are for different points in the future. I find that this is a simpler, more personal, and more direct exercise for determining our values. Easy enough, right?
posted by Ted Miin at 4/09/2007 03:04:00 PM
2 Comments:
First, I don't like that book. Your excersise I believe has more value, but have you heard of a therapy where you and your closest friends simulate your funeral, and everyone goes up and speaks about you while you lie down, pretending to be dead? What do you think about that?
I think that the exercise that you described could be valuable therapy for the one feigning death, and also as a group therapy tool where everyone takes turns playing dead.
It is a little odd though. I am unsure whether someone would make the same comments at a funeral for the deceased, at a funeral therapy session for someone feigning death, or even at a funeral therapy session for someone that was alive but not present. I don't know what kind of differences there would be, and whether there would be a different overall effect, but it is interesting to think about.
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