Word of Mouth

I had a fun word of mouth experience earlier today. I met up with an acquaintance at Starbucks to discuss recent web application advancements, and new potential ideas to develop. After chatting for 15-20 minutes, a woman walked up to our table:

"Hey, sorry to interrupt, but I overheard you guys talking about web stuff. Do you do website design?"

"Yeah, we can do that."

"I'm looking for some website help, can I have your business card?"

Neither of us had business cards, so we just scribbled some info onto a sheet of paper and gave it to her. She thanked us and left. Pretty sweet.

Is it just a dream?

When you dream, how real does it feel?

Do really incredible or outrageous things happen while you're awake, and for a brief, brief moment you think that it may not be real? That you must be dreaming?

My Experience with Dell Phone Customer Service (with Diagram)

I've heard bad stories about phone customer service, but I never experienced it first-hand until two days ago.

Since I'm moving soon, I thought that I should get a laptop for portable use. I really only need a computer to check email and browse the web, so I decided to get a low-end laptop with only the bare minimum components. I did some research and read some reviews, and decided to just go with Dell. So I ordered a laptop from Dell's website, selecting the Windows Vista and 512MB RAM options. Some of you may be cringing and moaning. Sorry about that- I hadn't done much research on Vista, but the next day I discovered that I would need 1GB+ of RAM to be able to run the operating system anywhere near smoothly. Since the laptop hadn't been shipped yet, I looked for ways to upgrade my order to include more RAM. I expected to be able to punch in my order number somewhere on Dell's website, check some box, and be done with it. After browsing the Dell website for a while and emailing their support, I soon found that I would need to call their customer service line to make the desired upgrade. It can't be that bad right?

I was leaving for the airport soon, so I figured I'd just use my time waiting in the terminal to make the order upgrade. I was armed with a cell phone and a newly upgraded monthly plan, the 1-800 number provided to me in the email response I got from Dell support, and a 1-800 number I found on the Dell website for "order status" customer service. I couldn't find a number for anything related to order upgrades or modifications anywhere on the website. I also had a pad of paper with my order number and customer number, and the credit card that I used for the order. I arrived at the airport 2 hours early, and was in the terminal 1.5 hours before takeoff. I used the bathroom, found a seat at the terminal, and whipped out my phone.

First, I called the number that was provided in the online support email response, and got the automated recording. I listened to the series of options that specified the purpose of my call, and after slowly navigating several menus, I got put on hold, awaiting a phone representative. The wait wasn't long, lasting only a few minutes. A guy picked up and asked me about what I needed in near-unintelligible english. I picked up "order number" somewhere in there, so I gave that number. After being muttered something that resembled "thank you" and "please wait," I got put on hold again. A few minutes later a lady picked up the phone, and asked what I needed(this time I fully understood her). I told her that I just wanted to upgrade an online order, and she asked for my order number again. She also asked me for my name, address, and phone number. She put me on hold again, to be redirected to the "online sales department." After hearing music for a few minutes, the line went quiet. I wasn't sure whether I was still supposed to hold, but after several minutes I assumed that my call was dropped, and I hung up and called the first number again.

I navigated through all of the menus again, and a lady picked up, and redirected me to another department. After giving my order number and verifying my name, address, and phone, she informed me that I ordered my laptop under the "small business" category, and not the "home user" category(what?), and that she would need to transfer me to someone else. She also gave me a direct number to the small business department, "in case the line is dropped."

Several minutes later another guy picked up the phone, and I asked him how I could upgrade my order. He already had my order number, but asked me to verify my name, address, and phone number again for security reasons. He told me that he'd redirect my call to someone that could fix my order, and put me onto what I'll call the "mega-hold queue." The mega-hold queue included three cycling messages. This is what I remembered of them:

1. "The wait may be longer than 10 minutes... we apologize for the delay..."
2. "...Press 1 if you want to check on your order status, Press 2 if want to leave a voicemail and we'll call you back, or stay on the line to continue waiting..."
3. "Our normal business hours are..."

I heard those three messages repeated probably 10-20 times, with 30 or so seconds of generic hold music played in between each message. At that point I really wished that I had a second cell phone that I could use to try the other phone support lines just to see if there were some better way to get service. I felt like I was navigating a 3-dimensional maze in zero gravity with a blindfold on. And that there might possibly be some way to just get lucky (or have the secret experience and know-how) to stumble straight to the end of the maze. But me, I was just lost somewhere deep inside. While holding, I drew up a diagram for my best guess of how the phone customer service system works:


















I added the last box once someone finally picked up from the mega-hold queue and completed my request. The flight had already begun boarding, and I got in line to get on the plane.

Re: What importance or significance do you place on family? Would you marry someone from a "bad" family?

This is a very interesting question that I think is becoming more and more of an issue for today's American (and perhaps other cultures as well, but I haven't done enough research to know for sure); thanks for asking. My two cents:

Family is composed of many different combinations of relationships, including husband-wife, parent-child, and sibling-sibling. One may also include permutations of 3+ family members, or distinguish between father-son and father-daughter, and brother-brother and brother-sister, etc., but that involves detail that's not crucial to the original question. As the family operates today, all of the different relationships in the family are important for the learning, growing, and development of its constituent members; some have greater potential impact than others. For children, family is an unofficial school for ethics, belief, wisdom, values, and an unaccountable number of other details that shape individual character.

One may approach family from two different directions: as a conceptual ideal of connections that hold inherent value, or as an ambiguous connection between biologically related individuals. Those that follow the stronger ideal are more likely to perform altruistic acts for their family members without need for rationale. Those following the weaker ideal may use the familial relationships strategically, and leave the family if it becomes rational. The latter probably sounds very selfish and cold, but I think that is a mentality that is increasing in popularity as people become increasingly independent and focused on individual accomplishment and success.

I have not been a husband or father, so I can not relate personal experiences and thought as a person in those roles. As a child and sibling, I've come to many conclusions about my position in the family. Having and raising children is a huge investment in time and money. The act and process itself may be rewarding to the parents. Or the parents may be expecting a return in their investment. Or hope to continue their legacy. Or some combination of those reasons. Or it all simply happens, is a part of life, and holds no special significance or reason. Culture has a big effect on the reasons for having children, and it is interesting to think about how they have developed.

I think that some sort of family is important for the healthy development of any human being. That would include the traditional family, any individual and their rolemodels, life-coaches and life-teachers, and any individual with friends to learn and develop from/with. People are resilient, and families can be developed in a variety of settings.

The specific values of families vary a lot from person to person. Some have greater needs and desires for a family than others. Some find truly great substitutes. Some are lucky to have family members that are and become people with whom they match with well and connect with deeply. This is an interesting bit, because you do not choose your family members. It is not uncommon for you to like and connect more with your friends than you do with your family. It should be expected, because you had the option to choose your friends from (likely) a very large number of people.

Would I marry someone from a "bad" family? Certainly. When it comes to marriage or any serious long-term relationship, the most important thing is my partner, and my connection with her. If we are right for each other, then that is all I need. I know that many people have strong desires for great extended families, relationships with in-laws, and all that, but I don't value those relationships as highly as my relationship with my partner.

Re: Is there anything you regret?

Short answer: Yes, but I'm working on it.

Longer answer:
Anyone with values, living as a normal, functioning human being will experience regret. People are emotional, make mistakes, act without knowing/considering consequences, have unmet expectations, and things don't always go their way; it's unavoidable. But regret is contextual, and what matters is how we deal with it.

When I was in the third grade, I was having fun out on the playground and I threw a snowball at a classmate. I was reported, and got into "big" trouble, which resulted in a scolding from my teacher, having to make a written apology, and having my parents called. That was a big deal, and it totally sucked. I regretted throwing that snowball after receiving punishment.

I've experienced regret after spreading rumors about friends, failing to get into my college of choice, intentionally aggravating my girlfriend, not maintaining my car and having it break beyond repair, and not getting a job after botching an interview. Some disappointments were more difficult to deal with than others.

But I'm working on it. As our lives progress (e.g. from child to teen to adult), the stakes rise; the scope of potential consequences for our actions increases. But also our understanding of ourselves, and our connection to the world. In the end, what's important is our hierarchy of values. And these values change as we grow, altering our reactions to regretful things.

My current primary values involve growing, learning, and evolving. Experiencing, exploring, and being passionate. Being happy. Then comes the job, the college, the car, etc. When I experience regret, I make earnest attempts at growing and learning from it. Becoming stronger and smarter. Acknowledging it, and then moving on. And that's the way that I think regret should be dealt with. Not ignored or repressed. Not by obsessing or being overly emotional. Those are convenient reactions, and we all may fall into them every now and then. But maintaining a strong hierarchy of values can prevent regret from eating us up on the inside.

How I Read Reddit

For those of you that don't know, Reddit.com is a site where people link interesting stuff from the web. It has become a popular way for readers to get quick updates on what's new and interesting, based on what other users find worth looking at. Great links receive positive votes, and the top 25 most highly ranked links show up on the front page of the site. Reddit posts have unique styles and methods to sell themselves, and I felt like sharing how I use the site:














How do you read Reddit? Post a link!

The Funeral Exercise

While in transit on board a Chicago subway train, I read the second chapter of "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen Covey. It's titled, "Begin with the End in Mind." Covey presents a situation that he believes is useful in examining your true values: being at your own funeral, thinking about what you would like your friends, family, and associates to say about you. The various examples provided include you being a loving spouse, great parent, good friend, working associate, and that kind of thing.

That exercise didn't really resonate with me. I find it odd to think about values through secondary judgments. Covey places great emphasis on interpersonal relations, and thus understandably gauges values according to the people in our lives. However, I would prefer a more self-reflective exercise. How about closing your eyes, and trying to clear your mind. Then think about what you want and feel right now. And then what your goals are for different points in the future. I find that this is a simpler, more personal, and more direct exercise for determining our values. Easy enough, right?